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Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally

 http://dhansufunny.blogspot.com/2014/02/noticing-mistake-in-st.html
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."

"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"


God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."


Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."


God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."


Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

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Good And Bad News 

Religion Jokes
Insurance Salesman In Heaven

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns.

Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.

"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."


Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.

Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."


The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."


The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."


The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."


The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"


Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."


"What? He had two a**holes?!" exclaims the mortician.


"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"

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