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Insurance Jokes

Insurance  Umbrella JokesX
I’m Sorry but that’s not Covered

A client calls up his insurance agent and tells him he needs to file a claim.

The agent says “Tell me what happened?”

The client tells him and the agent says “I’m sorry but that’s not covered.”

The client says “well, let me explain better what happened.”

The agent says “I´m sorry but that´s not covered either.”

The client says ” I´ll tell you what, you tell me what´s covered and I´ll tell you how it happened!”

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A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill. The doctor says to her, “I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live.”

Motor Insurance Agent
Government Benefits
Salesman Boasting About Service

“Oh that’s terrible,” the woman sighs, “what am I going do?”

The doctor replies, “Marry an insurance agent.”

“Will I live longer?” asks the woman. ”

No,” replies the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”
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A drunk wanders into the lounge of a hotel where an insurance convention is being held, intent on causing trouble. He yells, “I think all insurance agents are crooks, and if anyone doesn’t like it, come up and do something about it.”

Immediately, a man runs up to the drunk and says, “You take that back!”

The drunk snares and replies, “Why, are you an agent?”

“No,” the man replies, “I’m a crook.”
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A super genius goes in to see a doctor. “Doc,” the genius says, “I think I’m too smart. I’m having trouble even communicating with people because we have no common frame of reference, and it’s ruining my social life. Can anything be done?”

The doctor runs a series of tests on the genius, and indeed finds that he is too smart. He says, “Currently, your IQ is 250, which is vastly superior to an average man. This is why your having trouble communicating. I do have a cure, however. I have a machine that will drain away some of your intelligence, leaving you with an IQ of 160. You’ll still be a genius, but you should be able to lead a normal life as well.”

The genius immediately agrees to the treatment, so the doctor straps him into the machine.

Just as the doctor turns on the device, he gets a phone call from his ex-wife. They have a heated phone conversation for several minutes before the doctor remembers his patient. He rushes back, and is shocked when he sees the IQ readout at 75.

The doctor says, “Are you all right?”

The former genius just stares blankly.

The doctor shakes him, saying “Say Something.”

The former genius replies, “Can I interest you in a health insurance policy?”
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“You ought to feel highly honoured,” said the businessman to the life insurance agent, “so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents.”

“Yes, I know,” replied the agent, “I’m them.”
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An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.

“I can’t stop!” she shrilled. “What should I do?”

“Brace yourself,” advised her husband, “and try to hit something cheap.”
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An insurance agent won a trip to Mexico City. Now he is trying to win a trip back home.
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About Guru Dev

FUN And PUN Intended.
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