Santa Rocks EveryOne Shocked - Punjabi Humor Collection

Santa : When I get mad at you,you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Son : I clean the toilet bowl.

Santa : How does that help?

Son : I use your toothbrush!
-------------------------

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"

Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!
----------------------------

Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.

Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.
----------------------------

MP Singh Job Interview

Bihari Jokes 

Interviewer: What is skeleton?

Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
----------------------------

Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.

Santa : Kaise?

Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'
-------------------------

A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.

Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya..!
-------------------------

Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghu Ayaa..

Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!

Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!
----------------------------
Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !

Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.

Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!
----------------------------

Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.

Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya..?
----------------------------

Santa meets his friend Bunta

Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!

Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?

Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
----------------------------

Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.

Banta : Kyoo Ji ?

Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.
----------------------------

Phone Ki Ganti Baji.

Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.

Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.

Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...

Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!
----------------------------

Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.

Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
----------------------------

Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.

Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
----------------------------

Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?

Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

----------------------------

Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?

Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lakh plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha

----------------------------

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.

Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.

----------------------------

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.

Banta: Are tension mat le, Zeher bharwane aya hoga...

----------------------------

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.

Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?

Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.

Santa: Phir?

Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

----------------------------

Share on Google Plus

About Unknown

FUN And PUN Intended.